Fifth Grade

Champion Learners

The Nature Phenomenon

| 2 Comments

Written by Felicity for the 100 word challenge

Kate was taking a vacation all the way in northern Canada. They were there to visit the enormous rolling hills with beautiful evergreen and maple trees. An amazing nature phenomenon was happening, where the leaves turned completely white, falling from the trees, covering the ground with a white blanket of leaves. Kate was rolling in them, raking them up, and throwing them into the bright blue sky. She was very crafty and decided that she was going to make a white leaf wreath for her cabin door. While she was picking them up, she saw a castle in the distance.  

2 Comments

  1. Hi Felicity!

    I was excited to read your story because my name is Felicity too!

    Your piece was lovely to read. You have a good sense of sentence structure and your phrases are very poetic. The visual of white leaves falling from trees is interesting as it combines autumn and winter into one idea. Your introduction of the castle at the end made me want to keep reading.
    My one note would be about your sentence starting “They were there to visit”. Since you only referred to Kate travelling in the previous sentence, it should probably say “She was there to visit.” Alternatively, you could change the first sentence to say that Kate and someone else were travelling.

    Great work, keep writing!

    Felicity (Team 100WC)

    P.S .I am going to nominate you for the weekly showcase, so stay tuned. 🙂

    • Thank you so much for those positive words! you are so kind. Thank you for the suggestion, I will keep it in mind next time! 🙂 🙂

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