Fifth Grade

Champion Learners

The Package 

| 2 Comments

Written by Raiya for the 100 word challenge

“I wuv mawio!” my baby brother said. My mom cringed. She could not stand bad Grammer or vocabulary. Then, mom said,” Lilly, I need you to watch Luke. Day is coming over to help.” I nodded. Day was my older brother. He lives in his dorm though, so we rarely see him. Mom left, but what was strange was that as soon as she left there was a knock! I thought it was Day. Yeah, thought. I opened the door to see a package, but it was heavier than I expected“Wiwi, wat is dat?” I don’t know……. 

2 Comments

  1. Hello Raiya,

    I was also expecting that your character would be answering the door to see Day, so the mystery box was a surprise for me too. I wondered what was in it and why it was so heavy? I was also curious as to whether the parcel was from Day?

    Your character’s brother’s baby talk in the speech marks was great! Exactly how little kids talk!

    Well done,

    Michelle, Team 100wc,
    Melbourne, Australia

  2. Thank you! I actually have a little brother, who was kind of my inspiration, but he’s seven now. Again, thank you so so so much for the really kind comments.

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