Fifth Grade

Champion Learners

The Strange Man Pt. 17

| 1 Comment

Written by Mikayla for the 100 word challenge

When my mom got knocked out unconscious, Joe turned toward me with an evil smile. The next thing I know I felt so much anger, I pulled out the sword he gave me and started to fight. I felt more powerful. I turned toward where my mom was, and she was gone. I knew I was in a lot of trouble. I could not fight joe. He had been training with the bad spies for a long time. I heard footsteps and turned to see my mom with my dad. Joe sliced me and a flash of light, then, darkness.  

One Comment

  1. Hi Mikayla! I’ve not read previous parts of your story, but this looks like an action-packed and important scene. Your opening line is terrific: it introduces what’s happening in a quick and concise way. It’s also realistic that the narrator’s dad would go up to rescue their mum, even while all the other action is happening. I like that you had multiple things happening in the background that way. The ending line is also such a cliffhanger! It makes me wonder what happens to the narrator next.

    All the best, and keep writing!

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